Ok here's something I don't talk to anybody about and its not about sex.
Every once in a while my mom sobers up. Sometimes its just for a few days but sometimes its been a month or so. I used to get all hopeful about that every time it happened, because when she is not drunk she can be a pretty awesome person, but I've learned not to hope anymore because she always starts drinking again. She wasn't always that way but I can barely remember the time before she started drinking. She had cancer when I was about 6 and she was sick for a long time and taking lots of pain meds, and then when the doctors stopped giving her the pain meds she switched to drinking.
Everybody tried to help her. My dad tried for a long time but finally he gave up because she wasn't really even trying. They got divorced about 3 years ago and I don't see him much anymore. She went to AA for a while and it seemed to be working for her, then she met her current bf who is also a drunk and that was the end of that. Frank is not just a drunk hes creepy and mean. He calls me fairy boy and things like that and makes fun of me but I don't really care about what he thinks. He and my mom get drunk and fight a lot but I don't think he's ever hit her or anything like that and if he ever does I will kill him. My dad isn't anything like him and I wish he was still here but I understand why he isn't.
I never have friends come to my house (not that I have all that many lol) because you never know what you will walk in on. I spend a lot of time at my friend Tasha's house, in fact for a while her parents thought maybe I was her boyfriend lol. They used to say things like "keep that door open!" when I would be with her in her bedroom hehe. I don't think Tasha told them Im gay but I think they figured it out because they don't worry about that anymore. Actually if Tasha was gay and a guy I probably would be in love with her but as it is I just love her as a friend.
Ok I'm tired of writing this now.
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7 comments:
Im sorry to hear that, and I hope for the best for you. You will be out of school soon, and then will have your own space, and can bring friends over and stuff. Its good that you have a friend like Tasha... I have a similar friend named Nikki, and for the last five years I think that my mother secretly thinks I am dating her... dumb
<hugs>
Steve
That's very personal, sad and touching. I imagine that was quite difficult for you to write about.
I understand why you spend so much time at Tasha's. I also think your attitude belies your age, you seem quite mature for one so young. I guess maybe you had to grow up faster than most, living as you have. Children shouldn't have to grow up dealing with their parents problems...it's supposed to be the other way around!
Please take care of yourself,
*Hug*
Col
Alcoholics are terrible specially if they have a reason my dad dont have any but that doesnt stop him to drink...now he stop but is because he is really sick(cancer) anyway this kinda things usually get worst before go better and sometimes never go better just have a look of that creep of your moms bf ;P
I realy fell for ya. I hope for the best of you Kyle. I know drinking is bad for some people. it changes them either good or the bad. People also get hurt. I don't like that.
Be safe kyle.
I wrote my first writing on my blog. It not about sex, (that will be next, mmmm maybe) but it about what going to happen in the future maybe sooner. I dont know?
Justin
You might want to look up Al Anon. It's an organization that helps people who have alcoholics in their families deal with the alcoholism.
Thanks for the comments you guys, I wasn't trying to get all emo here its just something I dont say to many people and Im trying to make my blog a place where I can say things like this.
Naturgesetz I actually did go to alanon for a while it was a group called alateen and it was ok but it didnt change anything really. I do still hope maybe my mom will decide to get sober (and get rid of Frank too lol)
Have you tried talking to your mom or another adult whom you trust? I obviously don't know your situation but I do know that alcoholics are very selfish and that being confronted with how their s**t is affecting the people they love can sometimes be a sobering thing. It is good that you realize that she has to want to change and (hopefully) you realize that this isn;t your fault
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